Friday, 24 February 2012

A letter to my body...

I cannot believe I am actually posting this. Not looking for sympathy, I just feel the need to get it out there and let go of some stuff I've been holding onto for too long. Basically I wrote a letter to my body...sounds stupid, but surprisingly it left me feeling quite relieved - I would actually recommend doing it!

Dear Body, 
Firstly, let me say that I am so sorry for everything I've put you through. I really don't know how you cope. You know we've never been best friends...when I was young I was the awkward, tall girl; then I became the awkward, tall fat girl - through no fault of your own - because I was lazy and didn't care about you. Then I began punishing you because I hated you so much by going for as long as I could without feeding you until the hunger became enjoyable.You weren't making me skinny fast enough - because I couldn't resist the temptation of binging - so I started forcing you to bring back up everything I put into you, at increasingly regular intervals. I abused you so much, even once putting alcohol into you to make throwing up easier. Sorry. I didn't give a shit about if you worked properly or what would happen when I grew older, all I wanted was to be thin.

Can I also say thank you. Really, I should be dead right now, but for whatever reason you brought me back. I poisoned you to a point where most underweight fourteen year old bodies would give up - but you didn't. And for that I am truly grateful. It makes me think that there's a reason I am still here, a reason you gave me a second chance - but maybe it was just luck. Although I never have been a lucky person.

I wish that I felt attractive. Not necessarily to others, but I want to be able to look in the mirror and honestly say that I'm ok with the person I see. Although I can't say that I love you yet, I am beginning to accept you. The acceptance process will be long, but I think slowly I'm getting there. I pray that I have not damaged you too much and that you will forgive me. I pray that one day we can be at one in perfect harmony and be able to listen to each other, but til then:

Thank You. And sorry. x

Saturday, 18 February 2012

I can't wait for Spring

Hey, sooo yesterday for the first time in what feels like months it was actually pretty sunny and, as always, I prematurely brought out the Summery clothes - I really need to go on holiday somewhere warm, I'm dying in this Scottish weather. I went to Pizza Express with my best friend for her birthday which was really lovely, and gave me reason to dress up a bit - always a good thing!
 My older sister gave me this dress a couple of years ago because she didn't want it anymore and I never wore it much at first, but I actually think that it is really pretty and feminine. If you know me at all, you'll probably know that I love knee high and over the knee socks - so I couldn't resist this pair from Accessorize during the January sales... they are so soft and comfortable!
I can't believe I have never made a post with this satchel that I bought way back in October, I love it so much. It's a Topman one but hopefully it doesn't look too manly...haha! Usually I use it for school though because it's a good size for all my textbooks, but I thought it suited this outfit quite well:)

Dress- Topshop; Satchel- Topman; Socks & Shoes- Accessorize

Hopefully in the near future there will be some real sun, but until then it's back to the jeans and jumpers for me, because I was pretty cold wearing this outfit! xo

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Monday, 13 February 2012


Hey, so finally I've gotten around to doing another full outfit post. Today I went to Nando's for lunch which as always was sooo good, and then I just did a bit of shopping for my friends birthday present... I love buying presents, although I always see things that I want when I'm supposed to be buying for others! Today I was wearing my high-waisted jeans again with a maroon shirt that I've not worn for at least a year. I really like it, but it is quite plain and for some reason reminds me of something that a supermarket worker would wear, haha!
 I just painted one of my nails to match my shirt because I can't deal with having plain nails for too long, and it had started chipping anyway so I thought it was a good way to cover it up quickly. For the first time in ages I was able to wear my brogues (which I always think make me look barefoot) because it was actually not too cold today, thankfully! 
Shirt,Jeans & Ring- Topshop; Shoes- Accessorize
I hope to be posting more often this week as I am on half term holiday and will inevitably be spending hours avoiding homework/revision... Au revoir! xo

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Love to Hate

Firstly, I apologize for my lack of posts recently! I've just been so busy with schoolwork etc and haven't found the time for blogging :( . 
And secondly, I am on work experience this week - yay! I'm doing it in the fashion department at John Lewis and two days in - other than having sore feet - I have absolutely nothing to complain about. The staff and atmosphere in general are lovely, and I'm really enjoying what I'm doing - even if it does mainly consist of putting things on coat hangers!

If you're wondering about the name of this post, it is referring to the new set of rings I bought myself this week from Topshop (reduced to £1.50 from £20 ... woo!). I don't particularly know why, but I love them. They're just so different to anything I would usually wear! If there had been any left, I would have bought the 'Love' rings too, but never mind... I'm still pretty happy with them.
Rings - Topshop